Feels Like Heaven ...

 There is a popular Indian ad by Raymonds, where they highlight the touch of the fabric and its tag line says "Feels like Heaven, Feels like Raymond". Quite an interesting notion... Makes you wonder if heaven would really feel only as good 😊.

More than a decade ago, I had embarked on my first international trip and was introduced to the wonderful land of California. There were a lot of things to learn right from the accent (thanks to the series "Friends" it wasn’t much of an issue), driving, cooking and managing the temperamental weather changes. I have had days when in a matter of a few kilometres, I have seen sunny, windy, rainy and snowy climate on the same road. That’s just one of the many wonders of that state. What was the most challenging was getting used to the layers of clothing and managing them. The key word there was "feels like". You could have a sunny weather and still be shivering in the cold under your jacket or be playing in the snow and be perfectly comfortable. One of my friends told me always look at the feels like temperature.

Life moved on and I even got used to the winters in Melbourne as well, but the feels like stuck on. Not only in the weather app but in life as well. Emotions, relations, friends, family. There are relations where even after years of togetherness there is no attachment and some who have stayed apart for decades and you still know them like the back of your hand. All people and relations change, but some people live and grow in your heart. They change as life moulds them and somehow their impressions grow and change in tandem as well. What is truly comforting is the fact that the distance didn’t rust or wear off the relation. There is a dialogue in Aandhi, that goes, "Woh rishta hi kya jo hath chhutne se tut jaaye". It means that a good relation doesn’t break off just because you were apart. Now that, my dear, is what feels like a connection.

Whether you are right next to me or millions of miles away, whether I talk to you daily or not for ages, whether I remember what you looked like or not at all, when its right it just truly feels like heaven...

Refill Please

"May I have a refill please?", I asked the tenth shopkeeper. He looked at me with what I would like to call a cocktail of disbelief, disdain, distaste and a lot of other dis's. He would have told me no with another dis - disinterest, like the other 9 but I think he was kind enough to have a word with me and said, "son you won't find it anywhere." It did summarise my experience till now, but I had a perplexed look on my face. I had heard all sorts of answers like, "the company doesn't make refills" (made me wonder if I had magic pens?) to " sir the new pen is cheaper than the refill" (I was in half a mind to teach this guy some basic math and economics, but I didn't). The shopkeeper on seeing my dilemma said, "no one wants to keep it." I asked why not. He said its not worth the trouble. I asked him, "what should I do with the empty plastic tube that I have? I cannot even give it to some under privileged child, because its utter rubbish without a refill." He said he understood but that's the way it is. I moved on and gave up on finding the refill, but my mind was still on it. 

I am a conservationist by nature, of nature, (please side step the sad attempt of a pun). I try to reuse things as much as I can. I prefer minimalist design. In fact, when I travel on an airplane I prefer not using a tissue or prefer using the same plastic glass till the end of my trip. Even the air hostesses are surprised. But I don't see the point of wasting multiple glasses to drink apple juice. 

One friend of mine, whose intelligence I respect, recently made a comment that he didn't like a particular airline, because they asked him to save the glass for the whole trip. I am sure it was not statutorily mandated and they would have given him another glass in case he dropped it or something. But, I wouldn't mind hearing that and in fact I would applaud the airline, but apparently I am very lonely in feeling this. 

What I fail to understand is why are we turning into these monsters who want to just gobble gobble gobble. What's wrong in using a handkerchief instead of a tissue? Or a water spray instead of toilet paper? Or use the same plastic glass for a 6 hour flight? Nothing actually. We are intelligent humans. We have always respected nature and tried to use as judiciously little as we could. But we have changed. We have all changed. And I am not liking it. 

I think it's time we compel companies to make those cheap refills and reuse our cups. We have a lot of generations following us (hopefully)!! Let's save them a little. And now I am literally out of ink, so let me have a refill... Oops let me buy a new pen!!

Are You Happy?

Let me begin the first post of this new year by wishing all my readers a very Happy New Year! May all your dreams come true and may you forever dream more!! December brings a lot of memories to the mind. Birthdays, anniversaries, reunions. Most of my college mates come home in December and that leads to a lot of dinners together. The cold and the chill in the air in contrast to the warmth in the heart that grows by meeting old friends is a feeling that is very difficult to explain. Its just elating.

Over one such reunion with friends, while chit chatting, he said, have you realised that people never ask you if you are happy? They will ask you questions like how’s work? How are things? But nothing related to if you are happy. I said aren’t these things a part of what makes you happy. A good family, a good balanced work, even if its stressful work (which it normally is), knowing that it is still ok is what makes you happy. And the second reason people don’t ask you if you are happy or not is because they kind of know the answer to it already. They know very few would be genuinely happy and it shows on their face, when they are. He disagreed. So, I said, let me ask you, “Are you happy?”, and surprise surprise he said “No.” I burst out laughing. The conversation and the evening continued.

We were nearing to the end of meeting. Good-byes were being said and promises of staying in touch and meeting up again next year. Promises, that may or may not get fulfilled, but let you continue for the next year… While saying good bye, he asked me, what would your reply be. I replied, nobody knows, because fortunately or unfortunately, nobody has ever asked me that.

Dilate Your Pupils

Well let hope your pupils did dilate reading the title and your mind raced at the speed of light to assume some “exciting” things 😉

 

Well sorry folks, nothing naughty here, but yes, I am talking about wonder. We need to let go of ourselves in general and try and explore and think and wonder. I have realised that the more I wonder or the more I keep my mind open, the more life teaches me. Nature is an excellent teacher, once you start observing things and wonder why, you discover more not only about the world or universe at large but also about yourself. It is extremely interesting to have a conversation with oneself and keep on wondering. Like one great man had once said, stay hungry, stay foolish… ummm who was he?😉

Over the last few months, I have been interacting a lot with the new generation (Gen Z I mean) and I have realised that they have never been stressed as much as my parents had or even we had. My generation had it a little bit easier than my parents and my kid’s generation has it so easy that I sometimes wonder whether it will render their muscles useless. Maybe they will all just be reduced to a bundle of Appendices. I have worked with freshers in the industry and found that they haven’t taken much efforts during their graduation as well. The concept of struggle seems to have been eliminated. While its always better to adopt an easier path but we need to realise that the struggle is what makes us we. That is what shapes us. Maybe we need to let our kids fall and scrape and bleed for a while before rushing to them with bandage, tourniquets, the freaking hospital cart. We need to also remove the helmets during a cycle ride or the knee pads and the elbow pads. I don’t remember a day when my elbows and knees weren’t scratched, and they are still rough today. I wish my kid grows up with a lot of scrapes and marks, to commemorate his life. Let our kids dilate, let them wander and get scraped and hurt and bruised.

The third layer of the story is more related to a physical observation. We have no doubt discovered a lot of ways to save the environment, but I think that we have taken the story a bit far in our zest. I think that along with saving energy with LED lights, we have increased the light pollution, yes Light pollution. There was a time not far away when I could read perfectly well in a yellow or a dim, soot covered, white fluorescent light, but now I find it very difficult. The laptop screens, the phone screens, the white bright light everywhere, which are out to blind me if I stare straight into them, are all contributing to this phenomenon. The LED's are driving us nuts. They are too bright and too focused, kind of like Sheldon, maybe (from the Big Bang Theory), and they are equally annoying. Let’s get the old lights back and vow to use them judiciously, rather than blind ourselves.

With the kind of lives that we live, I wonder when was the last time that my pupils had truly dilated, whether in pure awe or just because the LED's were off…. Time to turn off the screen now 😄

Carry on Doctor ...

Todays train of thought is on a very serious note and maybe controversial too. There has been a spate of incidents where some relative of a suffering patient couldn’t take it anymore and took things in their hands. Doctors have been beaten up and as a sign of protest the entire union of doctors has gone on a strike. Or the recent case of Eman from Saifee Hospital. I have been debating this course of action from the angles of a doctor and a patient for quite some time in my head and think that there are some revelations to the entire scenario. Something deeper than just a doctor beaten up or a patients loss.

Let me clarify firstly, that I don’t condone what has been happening. Beating anyone, be it a sweeper in some run-down office or a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer or an absolute corrupt politician is not permissible. We, as a society, cannot support this kind of behaviour.

Is the loss of life or death in a medically critical condition an uncommon event? No, it isn’t. There is a 50-50 percent chance anyone of us could die the next moment and in some cases the odds aren’t even this good, without being medically critical. So, what ticks off patients.

When someone close to us is at stake, the emotions run higher, stronger. Add to it the fact that patients or public in general in India feel fleeced from all angles, right from a common man to the top politician. That frustration is building up. However, when that loss is only monetary it is slightly easier to bear. When the loss is both monetary and personal it becomes difficult. There is a whole nexus in India between Doctors, Pathology labs, Hospitals, Pharma companies and the subsidiaries. I have known only 1 doctor who doesn’t take commission for the tests he gets his patients to do. So much so that pathology labs charge us less if we give his reference. Patients are routinely subjected to a battery of expensive and useless tests by doctors who are not good diagnosticians, given sub- standard care and ignored despite paying through their noses. I have received threatening calls from renowned Doctors, because we shifted their patients to other hospitals with better and cheaper care. There is a renowned Cancer specialist, who charged you around 2000 bucks for 15 seconds…. Seriously and this was a decade or more ago. I had gone to him once with my uncle. Despite my uncle’s warnings, I couldn’t resist and asked him a slightly different question. It took his assistant less than five seconds to dismiss it, but we were charged a 1000 bucks more for that visit. Worst part was that the doctor never himself even studied our case. Bedside manners, patient empathy is all lost in the hustle bustle to cater to an ever-increasing population and making more money.

All of this aside and if maybe half the doctors are such, the other half is still good. All of them are still trying their best. At the end of the day, they will try to save your life. Beating up any professional, is not really an answer. For ages, we have put Doctors on a pedestal, much higher than the rest of the society, so much so that if you see a car parked wrongly, with a Dr symbol on it, you assume it must be an emergency. Maybe it’s time we humanise them. Be more tolerant to the fact that they too are error-prone, not Gods. They are trying their best in the given constraints. Some patients are sick beyond a point of no return before they even reach the doctors. Others develop complications beyond anyone’s control. Even if it’s due to the negligence of a doctor, it’s time we start treating them right. Beating them up is not the answer.

It’s time to bring them down from that heavenly pedestal so that we don’t always expect miracles and treat them as professionals. Professionals who are in a public – emotionally charged public -  facing role, constantly under pressure, and now under the added pressure of hospitals run like corporates. Let’s treat our doctors right. Let’s acknowledge the fact that they too can sometimes make a mistake but overall, they are trying their best. They too at the end of the day want to earn good money just like the rest of us. Advantage being, they get to do a lot of good work while earning it. Let’s not drive our doctors away from the personal touch they want to give. Let’s treat them right, no matter how grave our loss.