A family called the society

I had a couple of occasions recently where I had to interact with the BMC guys and the Police...and that too within days of each other....dreadful, right?? I also had imagined the same. The experience was however a bit different, it was almost humane!!

The guy at the BMC office who was to give me my marriage certificate would speak such blasphemous language that I can never even think. And he would do that only while talking to me. Before you think otherwise, he was venting out his frustration in front of me. All of the three times that I went to meet him for some work , he would make it a point to chat with me for at least 15 minutes, abusing the kind of people he had to work with. I think he had found a listener in me, cos I would patiently hear him out and to my own surprise, offer him consolation. He enlightened me to some very basic things that I had conveniently forgotten or had taken for granted.

Among his many pearls of wisdom the one that struck me the most was the comment that, "BMC aapki maa jaisi hai, aapko khana deti hai apka kachra uthati hai, aur ghar ko saf rakhti hai." Such simple words, such profanity. We would seldom see the BMC, we always curse, in this light. That made me think if we ever see our mom's in this light. There are so many things already said on this topic that it sounds cliched to even mention it. Will let it rest!!

At the police station, I had the misfortune of standing outside the interrogation room for almost an hour. The sounds coming from inside were not very different from those coming from my bathroom when my maid washes clothes. I was wondering what role, if any, did the Police play in the intricate and delicate family called the "Society"?. My question was answered soon enough. Our driver was asked to sit in the room and faint-hearted as he is , he broke down in tears, in spite of being honest. Dad tried to appease the inspector to let him go, but he wouldn't budge. The police has to its work. They eventually let my driver go without even asking him anything. I was wondering why, when it struck me that the Police was like the Father figure in the family. The attributes match so well. Both are strict, and a fine judge of character - one look at you and the crime you have done is automatically known to them, both maintain a modicum of fear in your heart, lest you start wandering off haywire. A sixth sense that tells them whether you are lying or not. And the most important of all, the feeling of protection and security that comes to you after you are assured they are there for you.

I still curse the police and BMC sometimes, seeing their high handedness and lethargy / callousness but, do remember that, for a few bad people, I should not curse them all. After all, there are few good ones too, I had the fortune of meeting when I actually needed them.

It is the best of times... It is the worst of times

There has been a frenzy these days for a lot of social networking and life has been very comfortable thanks to them. But somewhere down the line we forgot the actual use of the devices. They were meant to add on to our existing lives, help us stay in touch with our loved and dear ones who are really far. But in our madness we have made it a generic solution for everything. Friends who stay a stone's throw away meet me on the phone only. Others who are a bit more far are always meeting me online.

So ridiculous is the situation that when I meet my friends in person, we don't have anything to talk and promise to call each other and the online ones have nothing to talk on the phone and we promise to ping each other.. There is an awkwardness in our conversations and confrontations (if I may use the word) when we move from a known surrounding to another. Its natural for that to happen. The conversation however feels weird later, that someone who you used to talk to for so long on the phone cannot talk in person.

There is something else also at work here, the anonymity of the premise. While chatting online the tone and body language is hidden and you can be a totally different person, maybe from a figment of your imagination. While on the phone the body language is hidden and thus your true self is still hidden. Your actual reactions, your thoughts.. innermost ones, are all hidden. Well whether we break these self created shell walls is only up to us, like everything else it needs time to settle in and feel comfy talking in person to our friends.
There is another breed of people germing in who would post their smallest details and tiniest thoughts to the most intimate ones, online. What are they planning to gain from this is still unknown. Is it faith? Is it attention? Is it just the feeling on being one with the crowd and having a security of not being out-caste?

Recently on the day of Raksha-bandhan I read several status messages claiming that they are missing their sisters and brothers. Is it something that you want the whole world to know? Is it something that u want your friends to "like" or "comment" upon? Isn't this feeling meant for you, your sister and your family only? On the pretext of being "open minded" or being forward we are forgetting the basics. I pity the sisters who are missed by their brothers only on Raksha-bandhan and that too on a public forum, as if it was a political drama going on to garner some more popularity and votes. Don't these guys miss their sisters any other time during the year? If yes, then why don't their status messages reflect that ever again in the whole year?? I am surprised, but well maybe I am old fashioned and still call my sister up and chat with her for hours rather than announcing it publicly that I am missing her! Should I be having a status message that says that I am calling her?!!

Lounge of Memories

Ok this is a leap into the future… many years ahead…
The theme goes something like this some years later when our jobs are really high flying and we have no time to sit and look back... we are sometimes faced with situations that force us to think of the good old times … of what we were and what we have left behind… a lot of dreams and adrenaline rushes… friends and loved ones… the inspiration is from a waiting area in an airport where I saw a face I thought I knew… and then the chain of thoughts started…


Saw her in the lounge
Aeons later…
She looked the same
Somehow a bit younger
She had a spring in her step
Time had treated us differently
How unfair…


My heart warmed again
Like it had a few years ago
I felt like a teenager again
And I knew I wasn’t one anymore
My eyes sparkled
And I tried so hard to stop
The silly smile developing on the edges
And the loud beats…lest someone hear


My son stood besides me
Hormones raging in his teenage veins
And lack of experience to hide
Clearly showing in his gape
The sparkle in his eyes
The smirk
Reminded me of me
Some few years ago


And after a few trips
To quench his pretence caffeine thirst
A few stumbling steps later
He asked her to coffee
And I felt a hand on my shoulder
Making me quiver in the same way…
We stood there staring into each other
Like we did years ago
“Isn’t it just like us”, she said and smiled…

The Holes in self....

I have been reading a lot recently about spirituality and after understanding a lot I still feel dwarfed by the enormity of the knowledge that I need to grasp. After whatever little I have understood and felt and experienced, I realise that your life and your existence are like an inflated balloon filled with your inner energy, you can call it by any name karma, atma, spirit, your existence, etc but it all means the same. The more people you interact with and allow to get close the more the chances that they leave holes in your balloon. These holes let go of your inner energy slowly and gradually. They eventually drain you of life without you realising it. These holes in self are created by anything that you percieve has hurt you and with time just get bigger. Remember the Hans of Holland story where he couldn't stop the water gushing out of that hole with one finger so he had to put two.. something very similar. They are like loose ends that need to be tied up so that your "SELF" is not lost. A lost love, a sour friendship, a broken relationship, a foul business partnership, sometimes even a bad waiter can all be cause of the holes in your self. We keep on giving out energy to that person by our thoughts, our energy. The energy that helps you achieve all in life is distributed in such worthless beings that you cringe when you realise it. There is an old saying.."leave no loose ends". The  old were smart, maybe this one has more than one dimensional meaning. There are several ways of mending yourself. My personal favourite is to detach yourself from everything that is happening. It helps in sealing the holes and prevents from creating new ones. More on detachment sometime later... Till then tie the loose ends and don't let some unworthy prick sap you of your energies.

Thank GOD for the middle class

Today morning was having a discussion with my mom regarding the Gandhi family. Recently a lot has been talked about with regards to it in the office. In teh discussion mom said that the lower class wouldn't have anything to do with morals and ethics. Their females would do anything from teh now acceptable , smoking, to the red light area activities, so would their men in fact. The super rick or the powerful too have no one to answer. They are accountable only to themselves (?) What remains is the middle class. The class that suffers no matter what. The class that travels in the trains crushed by hundreds of other similar travellers who have no option left for travelling inspite of paying all the taxes. The middle class man who after being frustrted by driving on the potholes can only manage making a  fight with the auto rickshaw guy or his wife, but nothing beyond that reaches the men actually responsible for his apathy. A lot has been written about the awakening of the middle class man and the changes he can bring about. I like the rest of them are apparently waiting for someone to begin. Coming back to the discussion, I was wondering if the society should be thankful to us for the principles that we bring in. Should we be thankful to the dad who is strict enough to ask his daughter to be home by 11p.m. at least and give a call at 10:30 p.m. to let him know where she is and how is she planning to travel (these time deadlines have been extended by an hour since the time I was a teenager!! ) Should we be thankful to him because he slaps his son in time to restrict him from venturing off-course at an early stage. I shudder at the imagination if these dads' didnt exist. Would things have collapsed into their own negative spiral or would the soceity have learnt to accept the fact that girls do get raped and men turn into goondas only like we have accepted corruption .... I am glad I don't have to see it for real as to what actually happens. But I am not sure if I can stay this happy for very long. I wish I can.... We all do!!